Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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