I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize