woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
