i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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