Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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