why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
