She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
