I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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