I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
love makes seman taste better
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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