Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
