that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
