I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
