Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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