so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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