Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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