We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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