i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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