I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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