bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
