Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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