we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
