God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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