nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
