It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
