my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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