I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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