There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
