I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
