He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
