we're blogging at a bar
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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