she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
