oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We're too hungover to prance.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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