dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
