Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize