i just had sex bonerless
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
