this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
