omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
