Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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