If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
