I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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