Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Randomize
