By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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