I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
