yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
