he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
