everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
