Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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