I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
