I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What a dumb baby whore.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize