remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
