arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Alive.
So much puke
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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