once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I need to align my fucking chakras
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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