your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
false alarm, still single
Randomize