sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
