I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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