She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize