Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
