So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
