Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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