Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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