barbara walters just said penis...
sarcasm needs its own font
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
