epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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