needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
